had a long thought today...
i've done so many things in my life, and i cant say i made the right decision or took the right path each time. now that i carefully think through everything, i find that i hav many faults, and then i make a lot of wrong choices, and did a lot of things that i probably should not have done. i may have regretted everyone of them, but i think there's no use jus crying over them. im going to correct myself from now on.

heez this is how my life has been so far... i wun be too specific cus... well no special reason... i remember all the way back to primary school.. in fact... primary 1...
im haughty, and stuck up. full stop.
P2, still stuck up brat. full stop.
p3, was one of the naughtiest in class i think... was very talkative. i rmb my teacher called my fren's mother and complained about the two of us talking, and she called my mom, n i was caned... haha
p4, i rmb cheating during exam. was caught, but in the end lied my way out of it. partly becus im the top student in class and there's realli nothing they want to fault me on.
p5, i always lied to go to school earli, jus becus i dun wan to be at home. and i would steal money and spend it jus to be popular...
p6, i stole things in school. *woops* and the teachers stil dunno.
Sec1, i was quite a stuck up brat as well... didnt realli hav any frens in school... picked up soccer jus to be popular, but ended up as goalie to be shot at.
sec2, did somethings i shouldnt have. and even though i was a bit better off in my choir, i sort of faked my sop voice since the start of the year... and i was a terrible sl. kept screaming at my section... bleahx
sec3, made it to trip science. guess i felt ok about it... then i sort of didnt like my class (hey i dun like a lot of pple... haha) and always was for choir choir choir... faked sang thru a whole concert that year... woops was evil right? then end of year there was 2 camps... organised one of them... but now looking back, i was so haughty... and i remember scolding vulgarities a lot...
sec4, found out the truth about my health... i actually became more happy... i was smiling a lot more, and took things a lot more easier. um how to put it, i was involved in something i should hav been. was detrimental to everyone involved. but even though its over now,i lost a good fren, and i still cant get over it... and i became hardworking... and i actually bonded wif my class... wow... and i actually was not at all boastful about my achievements that year... even tho im lik top for maths and music...
J1... this year. i found out ive made a lot more mistakes than other hav made for a lifetime in jus this half a year. ok maybe not mistakes, but just doubtful decisions... firstly was coming to rj. truthfully speaking, i probably would hav enjoyed myself more at hc, nj, aj or even yj. but now that im here im determined to be my best. glad to hav the meppies arnd!
2ndly... i actually joined choir again. hav to say my confidence in singing was actually quite busted aft last year... but i got in, i was thinking, maybe toh is not such a bad guy. truth is, he's not, but i cant make myself belong. i ran for council to get an excuse to quit choir. im quite sure im wrong, but im still determined that the whole choir hates me. oh ya, there's too many soloists there and im like dun lik it.. sorrie...
3rdly.. running for council. even if i got in i would hav died anyway. should hav known my limits. gr... but i'd say campaigning was one of the best times i've had... but maybe i should hav stayed in chorale...
4thly.. quitting choir... but i cant turn back now
5thly, the numerous concerts ive been to...
6thly, helping to set up piano ensem, and having a too high vision of it. but im sure we can be good.
7thly, the uk trip. well firstly is going for it in the first place, missed a lot of things in singapore. next is the things that happen there. bbut overall i can say the trip's fine... though i'd probably be better off w/o it...
8thly, the common tests. im quite sure im screwed.
9thly, being a kaypo and taking on too many stuff i cant do.
10thly, being insensitive and stupid.
11thly... matters of the heart. fullstop.

look jus in this half a year ... wow... and i can say ive quite a lot of enemies. heez...

mus change. i hav 1.5 years left. mus make the best of it. or i'll never survive.

wish me luck.

walking in a wonderland...
-Chee