Who am i to you?

for those who are wondering...
im asking cus i want to know.
i don't think i know who i am. that's for one.
for two, i dont know who i am to you, and to him, to her, to everyone else. how differently does everyone see me? how differently does everyone think of me? and how differently will they treat me then?

hmm...
oh wells.
-6 days to my promos prac.
-my compo is getting impossible to play.
-i need more sleep in order to avoid falling in love wif the doors (esp 3-9) again. ie kissing them or falling head over heels wif them. IE BANG INTO THEM. gosh. i have opened the door onto my own head for how many times liaoz.
-luto is very challenging.
-allegro barbaro is getting harder.
-beethoven is getting messier.
-im getting weak. physically. health-wise.
-havent started on physics yet.
-getting slower on maths.
-losing sight of many goals.
-losing my common sense.
-getting ignored.

on the good side.
-my prac will be over sooner.
-my compo is on the 4th draft.
-the doors are quite clean. and green. they smell nice. haha
-luto is fun. starting to see things differently.
-allegro barbaro is getting what it is: barbaric
-beethoven interpretation has changed (for the better or worse?)
-i ran in the sun that day. *pant* but a good workout.
-my goal for physics is only a C.
-maths is still easy.
-no goals mean more relaxed.
-no common sense means no need to think so much. see everything as straight forward as it is (i think im confusing things here.)
-being alone is fine for me.

haha.

things are so confusing nowadays. oh sheez. im getting very conflicting thoughts. my mind is in a mess. sometimes i don know how to react to things. to people. to everything in fact. and this is so mad...

oh i should grow up.
i should listen more n talk less too. well im an SC personality. was an I but no longer. mus keep to that i guess.
yet at the same time cant be too compromising.
argh.
im taking on a lot of things? hmm
cant believe i left home today forgetting that i was going to school after piano lesson, and had to go home and change after walking out for a few blocks.
erm maybe i should use my old bag.
i need $263. haha i bolded this. hint.
seems so long into this year already, yet felt as though so little time have past. have gotten to know a lot of people better, but at the same time sometimes it feels we are strangers. hmm.
some people i hate, but i cant shake them loose. gosh. and im such a nice person i don't even tell them in the face. gosh.
no its not u. trust me.
this is getting boring.
oh im good am i not? haha. that's egoistic, but still, thanks for the praises.
should stop wasting time. hmm.
should concentrate on wad's important.
oh wells im going around in circles. babbling on and on.

oh wait. i got a new watch. and new shoes. something to cheer about i guess. u guys will see the watch but not the shoe. not wearing it so soon.

oh need a buyer for my house too. hmm.

who am i to you?

soul searching...
-Chee