hm. i started on Sophie's World today. wow. cant carry on its too much for my simple mind to bear. look. we are not made to know everything in this world, and to understand philosophy as socrates and plato did. Well, i wonder if they were made to know too. but what i know is, in today's world, no one can afford to sit around and think as much as they do. dotz, no one realli thinks anymore.
But we still think! how much i think everyday... think about this, and that and this and that.
How naive can one get! does anyone realli think (pardon the pun) that thinking about maths and science problems is thinking? no! that's all deduction. like deducting how 1 + 1 = 2. and why waves are sinusoidal. wadeva that is. dotz. no one thinks anymore!
But we still use up time and energy to do all these! isnt it also a form of flexing our mind?
How true! yet immature thoughts. What we do here are jus simple exercises i believe. liken this to a soccer match for eg. u do warmups. for the game. i would say doing all these deducting is called the warmup, and the real game is the real thinking of philosophy and all that. but having said that, i myself am lost. how can that be a warmup?
So we should all stop whatever we are doing? and just think about where we come from, who we are, and where we go to?
Gosh the questions that i come up by myself. Am i having a split personality or what? but still. No we cant stop what we are doing. In today's world, our lives are defined by the constant rushing from task to task, and wondering about trivial things about exams and money and food and such. ok maybe we cant say truely that all those are trivial. but it depends on the individual as well... who is to say that exams are not right? Isnt it great if we can all stand up to the teacher and say, hey lets not have exams because its trivial. haha.
oh im rambling. i know that im not making any sense. so stupid of me to read philosophy when i myself dun want to understand it. hey look its all in the mind! if i wanted to, i can still understand everything. hey what's so difficult about philosophy? it can be so much simpler than all the maths that im doing now. but no. many of us out here are refusing it. blocking out. why? is it because we know that our brains are too small to understand (such as the pigeon's brain being too small to understand the things that we humans do?) ? or are we just flatly refusing, rejecting it?
is it possible that teachers can force us to read such philosophical writings, so that we can debate about it and such? i hate to think so, but it is possible. though i expect no one to realli understand. cus we never spend enough time on it. hm.
all these remind me of a book by Richard Bach that i read before: The Messiah that wasnt. It talks about how a messiah (read saviour) sees things differently, and we are only as much as our thoughts perceive us to be. we can walk through walls if we want to. we can heal if we want to. we can walk on water, fly in the air, etc etc if we want to. and what limits us? I. the I's, meaning ourselves. Meaning we are as much as we want to be. true. i believe that. or do i realli? because i still have not tried walking on water. i have not tried walking through walls. am i reali that skeptical as well? am i just like everyone else? ah.
Rarely am i hit so hard by a book that i start thinking and reflecting. and i realli havent thought so much these days. read my last post. im wondering a lot of things am i not? am i justified to do all that? am i justified to wonder about what may not happen? is it right for me to do so? do i have such a right? yes and no. I have the right to fantasise about my life, to live in my own little world. i have the right to let my mind wander. but no. i dun have to right to question what is unchangable. or unchangable as i think them to be. ar im not making sense. i jus cant put what i feel down into words.
11 days to my LR. my finger's just getting better. maybe shall not play the piano for 2 more days.
im getting scared. i feel detached from this world. i look at things so differently from others i feel. im like, dunno, so different. people may shun me because of taht. do they? i understand things differently from others. how so? um. i cant give any egs right now. but i feel im like a detached observer of this world. i keep seeing myself from outside myself. why? its troubling. becuase i end up regretting every other move that i make. like stepping on that stone. did it hurt my shoe? like clearing my throat when someone's speaking. is he/she going to think that i hate his/her speech? a lot of things that don't occur to a lot of people. but they trouble me. gosh.
i need to relax.

troubled
-Chee