wow...
when was the last time i went for choir?
when was the last time i went to siglap south?
when was the last time i sang nihil sub?
haha...
i miss choir... i miss singing...

i went back for EB Choir (cat high choir la...) prac today... had fun seeing leong run wif the boys... haha... supposed to train their stamina and diaphragm or something... haha
this batch has the potential, i can see. but, and i mean a very big BUT... the discipline is not there yet. if, and i mean a very big IF, u practise hard, u can be better than the syf batch last year. go for it. Prague gold!

oh yes almost forgot about grooming... haha... 2 of the juniors.. this super big sized guy whose name i dunno... looks a bit unkempt then leong ask him go for grooming lessons haha... then kenneth's hair not suitable for his face, must go grooming also? leong was saying, maybe he should smile more hahaha... oh wells. grooming. havent heard that before.

hmm i miss singing...

nihil sub sole novum...
exultate justi...

*smiles forlornly*

oh yes, all da best for the sec3s for the chinese 'o's...
and the sec 4s for all the O's
and the J1 for Chinese 'AO's
and the J2s for the A's..

And everyone for PW!

and meppies for Harmony... HAHAHA we all love harmony. yes repeat after me.

-Chee

somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight...
someone's thinking of me, and loving me tonight...
somewhere out there, someone's saying a prayer...
that we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there...

and even though i know how very far apart we are
it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
and when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
it helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky...

somewhere out there if love can see us through
then we'll be together somewhere out there
out where dreams come true

what a nice song...
hmm coming to the last few days of school... as in the school year...
there are so many things that will change...
for one, we are moving...
i hate changes. i hate having to adapt to new things all the time...
never mind... one day i'll learn.

this evening, saw mrs chaillan and mr heng at o levels prac at mgs... hmm i miss the chs teachers...

tonight, i'm going to sleep. for once.

tomorrow, its my last accompaniment of this year. i hope. its taking a toll on me. next year, im not going to take too many. just my accompaniment exam...

tomorrow, its the last day of school. im going to miss coming to school everyday and meeting my friends. when will i meet everyone again?

next wednesday, its project work presentation... its going to be just nice i hope.

next thursday, im finally going to play my erhu for mrs chee... its sounding nicer now that i have better strings on my erhu..

this holiday... im going to miss school...

why do i always lose out to others... is there no chance i can exceed others? is there no chance i can be more significant to others... is there no chance i can stand out, and be more than just another person 'i like talking to, because he listens to me'?

i'm not afraid to say, that i probably need help. counselling? i dunno... but im cooping everything inside me for too long, and i dun know how to talk to others. im an 's' personality, listens more, talks very little. some of you might know me as a talkative person, but that's just when im with people around. at least people i know. its easier to talk more and laugh and joke than to quiet.

and im not realli that an innocent, adorable kid.

am i an attention grabber? sometimes i want to have people around me, to talk to me, to make me feel popular. i hate being alone...

reminiscence... the title of my second compo... has a very sweet melody... wad a stark contrast to Exam Fantasy which is so rough... i like the softer, sweeter, more romantic things... i like to listen to them... i like to look at such things...

oh help...

im going to miss everyone...

sheez...

alright enough of rambling on and on about such unpleasant and saddening thoughts...

this coming december:
18/12/2004
EB vocale is singing in the concert by the Church of sfx youth choir (took the cue from mark to put it in small letters) come support...
its like, how often do u see me sing now anyway?

by the end of this year i will do something impressive. i will overtake him. that's what i want. watch out, i will make an impact, and make you regret everything. that you have said and done.

oh wells...
should go off now...

-Chee
reminiscence,
lonely,
tired...

yucky day.
there's no one i can talk to at all.
seriously no one.
i want to talk to someone.
to pour out my heart.
to pour out everything.
to cry.
if this is the price i pay for wanting to be alone, then fine.
blame me for everything.
its all me.
the rest can all die.
imagine what would have happened if i werent here.
ya? YA?! damn it its always me doing everything, and then all u people are so unappreciative. i hate u. everyone of you.
if only there's someone i can talk to.
if not i hope everyone of you can leave me alone.
get lost.
or listen.
damn.
rach 3 is hard.
hammerklavier is hard.
prokofiev toccata is hard.
what the hell am i doing with all these pieces.
damn.
****

-Chee
angry, upset, unappreciated, hoping for someone to talk to.

~there is a time.. a proper time...~
oh i love that song.
to love and hate for war and peace
was singing that when going to cheow's home yesterday.
hmm

i have a super busy week the coming week... if the week starts on Sunday, here's wad i have...
Sunday: Ben's Piano lesson, PW meeting, Eugene's Violin Lesson
Monday: SPA haha
Tues: WB's prac
Wed: PW Oral Presentation
Thurs: Ben's O's
Fri: Eugene's A's, plus the chinese instrument thing...
Saturday: EBChoir
and all that is on top of school.. haha

A time to pass away, to bring together
a time to be embraced, to be alone

oh how i want to be alone now...

Chee

whoa...so many unbelievable things happened these few days...

firstly my results...

i know alot of u will kill me but i think im damn lucky and got AAAB... ya go shoot me. i was like damn shocked when i got my physics... it was 70!!! A lehz.. when i expected C... then FM... 60!!! gosh i wasnt expecting to pass.. then music also 70... ok actually 69.65 but still.. i cant believe my luck... seems i can get my s paper after all... ya wasnt trying to boast sorry to everyone.

something to say to the people who didnt do well... first.. promotional exams is for promotion. that's all. if u cvan get promoted that's good dun fret about everything already... ok? cheer up.
Second, who cares about S papers? its just an extra paper. u dun need it. if u have wad it takes, and u get ur 4As at the end of next year, it'll still be sufficient. ya? come to terms wif wad u have. to put it cruelly, its ur own fault anyways. just work harder for march common tests k? =o)

okok enuff about promos.
OPEN HOUSE!!!

wo i love the MEPPIES!!! its like how fast we got things up la... ok. tuesday, Mrs Seah sort of organised wad we need to do. immediately after lesson, the decor team jo joyce n deedee got togther and planned and etc. me + grace went buying stuff. shang came out wif the order for marathon. gw n shaun the quotes. wow.
wednesday. me n grace started the publicity stuff b4 assembly, and we sort of finished a large part by the end of the day. jo joyce n deedee got the whole photographs things done by wednesday. gw n shaun collated SO MANY quotes!!! (didnt use mine...=( haha) and i rmb deedee was EVERYWHERE!!! haha so was shaun!

haha. thursday, yesterday. morning after lesson we did like everything? haha...cleaned up the room so fast that it was scary... and we even took took pictures of the teachers table to sort of hint to them to clean it? haha shall post my photos soon. then the super high banners that we put up. YAY! MEP helps me soar to greater heights. ie climb up ladders and put posters up. haha scary and terrifying heehee... but still very nice. thanks to grace deedee n shang who was around too. now the posters are on the walls in 3-9. we'll bring them to bishan, esp the one that goes Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent. 26 pieces of paper!!! whoa!!!

and today!
so many people came asking about Piano Ensem and MEP!!! even got people want to appeal thru MEP. but sadly they cant do so i am so sorry.
Keegan Kendrick was here!!! gosh i thought he was 2 years younger but he was only 1 year! seems he will be coming to RJ MEP next year. appealing through chorale. but can he sing? never heard him before. hmm.
wow next year its like we'll have so many pro people coming to RJ la... its like year after year we get better and better people! im going to be scared la ... haha.. at least i can get all of them into piano ensemble, then we have many wui mings in there. then next year maybe i stick to admin and rec PE? hahahahahah.

didnt see a lot of people there but still was a great time.
yay.

going to miss Mt Sinai...

oh no...AHH next week Friday i have to play erhu for Mrs Chee? gosh gosh i need a better erhu. maybe borrow from CO. they seasoned one. ya. need to go practise but now ah...

haha now im at cheow's house listening to Ave Maria. yar EBVocale. the alumni. ohyes come for the concert end of this year! must come!!! how rarely do u see me sing nowadays? okok i shld concentrate and sing.

hmm next year MEP should put up an opera or musical or something for arts feste. will be quite fun...

oh yes to those who are wondering what happen to me... u have to try harder than to catch me somewhere in school and ask :P sorry

happy and sad and mixed feelings..
-Chee...
Reminiscence

unbelievable.

Earth to Chee Hang!!!
Come back down!!!
This is getting to your head!!!

-The mature and realistic side of Chee Hang

Im Very Happy!

Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

old times i guess. haha i miss the old times. not that old but still... miss it long enuff that im smiling like how much now.

hmm tired from badminton game..
-Chee

chs speech day!!
i miss so many things.
-the prayer, the school song, the hall, the teachers, the canteen... so many things have changed...
oh the piano.
but i dun miss my playing.
gosh...
-Flight of the Bumblebee was wad i should have played... ended up i played flight of the tumble bee... yes it was that bad. aiya should have played some beethoven or bach. -grumples- nvm thank goodness the announcer did not announce my name. haha. they forgot or something. but also save me some face. -grinz-
just found out that the altos now are all sec 1s. !!!!! mus go back and hantam them some day. nihil sub isnt that hard actually.

caught up wif some sec3s just now. hmm sort of miss all my juniors. compared to some people *ahem* who dun even talk to juniors. some people by the name of Sin ---- ----... SINNER!!haha... okok shall not be evil. anyway havent seen u for quite long. u coming to RJ?

oh yes.

RJ OPEN HOUSE ----> 22/10/2004 Mt Sinai Campus

=o)

Harmony paper tmr.

-Chee

stoooopid.
i've got fever.
near the end of the exams.
wad shit.
and i took my f maths paper wif a raging 38 deg fever.
sat in the stoooopidly cold mrl for 3 hours.
argh.
after questions 1,2,3,4 i got very cold. those questions took 1 hour. i started to freeze after that. then i couldnt concentrate. question 5 complex numbers i couldnt solve. question 6 ode almost couldnt solve the second part. but the last part was crap. i didnt know wad i was writing. then question 7 integration finally solved all 3 parts. qn 8 reduction formulae took like how long to prove. then couldnt deduce the 2 integrands. then qn 9 was curve sketching cant solve the last part. qn 10 vectors. didnt understand the whole thing. hey my vectors was good ok. i just am no fated to do them correctly. just like common test i didnt have time to do last question vectors. sheez.
im just not fated to do well in f maths. common test i got like wad 54.4. which was a D. dammit 0.1 more and could round up to C.
now i think i cant get my C for s paper. shit i dun even think i'll pass la. I WANT MATHS S!!! shit. of all subjects to fall sick before. it was my LAST (read LAST) long paper. thursday harmony is nothing. shit.
my only hope is appeal.
argh i just cried just now lorz. cant stand it anymore. just let myself cry non-stop. i couldnt go on anymore. =(
i want to retake f maths.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i still want to cry.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



argh no use lar.
my schedule is abit better alr.
i dun think i'll go for erhu lesson tmr.
then cip im left wif the overnight stay and sunday. nothin on saturday mornign. means i'll try to change back my piano lesson so that thursday i wun rush about.



in no mood to type anymore.
just want to cry forever.



have to practise flight of the bumblebee. playing it on wednesday. if i survive till then. feels as though im going to die.



waaaaaaaaaaaa

x_x
-Chee

my horrible schedule

erm. maybe should have just stayed away longer. haha. here's a sneak preview:
-Monday (TMR) F Maths paper. Then go back Cat High for choir practice.
-Tuesday: check up. then got erhu lesson
-Wednesday: Cat High Speech Day. will like take up the whole afternoon. (oh yay im getting prize!!! and playing also!!!)
-Thursday: Harmony paper. That's from 1 to 2. then got piano lesson at 3. haha. oh there goes all my plans for going out celebrating immediately after harmony paper? hmm... now calculating how much time it takes to get back... i'll be like travelling between yishun n mt sinai the whole day! from home to school to piano lesson in yishun and back there again. haha
-Friday: Farewell assembly AT NIGHT!!! gosh how blind i'll be lar.
-Saturday: Engine CIP. wif possible stayover . whole day lorz/.
-Sunday: Engine CIP day 2

see.
and im sick now lar.
and how am i supposed to go back and help the choir when i cant sing? hmm...

oh wells.
take care myself. heh.
now mus go into F Maths mood!!! yay! dydx, Integrating factor, summation alpha

-Chee

im going to disappear and hide. ive had enough.

but before that let me write a few things here. firstly, something i got on friendster:

What's Love?
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
-It isn't love, it's LIKE.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of her.
-It isn't love, it's LUST.

Are you proud, and eager to show her off??
-It isn't love, it's LUCK.

Do you want her because you know she's there??
-It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.

Are you with her because it's what everyone wants??
-It isn't love, it'S LOYALTY.

Are you with her because she kissed you, or held your hand?
-It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.

Do you stay for her confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt her?
-It isn't love, it's PITY.

Do you belong to her because the sight of her makes your heart skip a beat??
-It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.

Do you pardon her faults because you care about her?
-It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.

Do you tell her every day she is the only one you think of?
-It isn't love, it's a LIE.

Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for her sake?
-It isn't love, it's CHARITY.

Does your heart ache and breaks when she's sad?
-Then it's LOVE.

Do you cry for her pain, even when she's strong?
-Then it's LOVE.

Do her eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
-Then it's LOVE.

Do you stay because a blinding,incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to her?
-Then it's LOVE.

Do you accept her faults because it's a part of who she is?
-Then it's LOVE.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with her faithfully without regret??
-Then it's LOVE.

Would you give her your heart, your life, your death??
-Then it's LOVE.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
The answer is so simple

cause it's...LOVE.

"The greatest weakness of humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're still alive."

meaningful ya? comment about it. i'll write my share when im back.

maths paper today. there goes my first pen. haha. finished it after gp, music, physics and maths qn 13

then played badminton just now. im very tired now. and my brain is like in a mess...

anyways. i've decided.

i'll go away these two days.

as in realli MIA. -- Missing In Action

hmm... wonder what will turn out.

oh wells. tonight will probably be the last time u see me until lets see... thursday or something like that.
feels good to disappear.

byebye

-Chee

haha
i watched Beethoven just now while supposedly studying physics. i mean beethoven the movie about the dog? yar.
ok i hate dogs. im scared of them. phobia. but something made me watch that show again and again. i dunno. must be how 'humane' they portray dogs to be. i suppose one day that will change my perspective about dogs and find out that actually they are more scared of us humans than we are scared of them.

another thing about that show is how they conveniently used beethoven's music. yay.

ok shall go back to studying and staying happy.

-Chee

I'm so happy.
and i realli cant explain it.=o)=o)
Since yesterday evening my smile has been fixed on my face =o)=o)
haha confusing isnt it? wow the reactions of everyone:
diddypks: Chee Hang Why are you so happy? ARRR
gw: Happy is good.

yay.
haha. must be something to do with the exams. people say got exam stress. i got exam smiles. haha.
oh yay exams are here. hm what am i cheering for. that's wierd hahaha. im not the least prepared, and my plan doesnt sound good. here's wad it is:
Tomorrow Sunday: Record my compo, then study physics.
Monday: GP paper. Then rush home and study physics.
Tuesday: Study Music. Read up and anchor all my historical knowledge. Then go for erhu lesson.
Wednesday: Morning study Mozart k465 again. Then afternoon music paper 1. Then RUSH HOME QUICKLY and cheong physics.
Thursday: Physics paper. After that stay in school and study maths. thats if others are staying. if not id rather sleep haha. sorry but i realli don't find it necessary for me to sit down and study maths. i'll stay if others do though.
Friday: Maths paper. After that i feel like going shopping. haha.
Saturday: Piano lesson in the morning. Then maybe rest and sleep and play.
Sunday: alright i'll do a bit of F Maths.
Monday: F Maths paper. yay.
Tuesday: Slack day. Practise erhu. At night got lesson.
Wednesday: CHS speech day. Haha yay im going back to play!
Thursday: Harmony Paper. Then go eat and watch movie?
Friday: Go park/beach!!! then go back for farewell assembly
oh wait promos over liaoz. haha. wow so many things in store for me yay!
16th, 17th: got Engine CIP!!!

okok.
that's about all
seriously im only very worried about Physics cus that's the only thing that i dunno how to study for. its like look: Maths i know what kind of questions they can set. same for FM. Music as long as i can write essays i suppose im safe. Physics... erm dot. I need a C cus im aiming for Maths S paper. No matter what i want it. Want it want it want it. haha so kiddy.

But dunno why. im still so relaxed. after like flunking my prac? hm.h aha
too happy liaoz.
hope that everyone else smiles too!!! *big wide grinz*

must have been something that happened to me yesterday. hmm who knows?

-Chee

*redeemed*

haha. for those who don't know what im talking about, then u probably are not the person im addresssing that word to. =p

oh yes. a happy children's day!!! i still remember the song 'semogia bahagia'. supposed to mean something about youths. haha. here goes:
sama sama mejukehadapan
...
...
semogia bahagia

haha i cant remember the lyrics. its in malay by the way =p.

oh yes to the PRCs, happy national day.

and a happy birthday to ze birthday gal. =X piggy!!!

ok now. i took my prac just now. to stop everyone else from asking me 'how was it?' im going to say it here.
by the way, i know wad u will ask, and u will probably know that i will say its not good, and then u will say that im already good or something like that. so heck. here's wad im going to say:

by my standards, its not good. it might turn out worse than common tests: why?
1) beethoven: my whole page of unison turned contrapuntal. !!!!!!!
2) Khachaturian was the only good one, but i didnt take enough time.
3) Faure sounded like prokofiev. all my work on my left hand (or lack there of) went missing. !!!
4) Allegro barbaro: sounded barbaric alright. with the wrong notes. gasp. oh wells the ending was dramatic enough. i guess.
so by my standards, its a passable practical but nowhere near my common standards. so. there it is, so don't ask me horz. =o)

ahhh... played badminton today after the prac. was like suan-ing everyone else "1 paper over!!!" that goes for me, grace, joyce and candice. yay. but then except for joyce the other 3 of us hav to come back for accompaniment tmr. =x oh wells. i like accompaniment. but now not realli in favour of lutoslawski. haha. sorry wendy.

hm. i love today. the whole day (up til now at least) was good. ended well too. seems like a story to me, a fantasy.

alright! 1 paper over! next is GP on monday. good luckz to everyone.

redeemed
-Chee